Fundraising Is Like Weaving A Quilt

Fundraising is like weaving a quilt…
By Lori Tessel, 12-11-11


Working in the Jewish community is an extraordinary experience. While working with donors, I learn about their interests and passions. I realize that like a quilt, each family has memories and life lessons that are woven together so that their decisions fall directly in line with their experiences. For young fundraisers, below is an easy way to get to learn the most about a donor and to build a long lasting trust.

Questions – Asking the right questions are critical to every conversation and will help guide the conversation to create the best solicitation to fulfill the donor’s philanthropic goals. One must remember that questions should help you build a relationship with donors and in time the donor will trust you with many philanthropic decisions including leadership opportunities, financial decisions and general organizational inquiries. These questions along with the donors’ answers essentially create the fabric blocks of their quilt and are the foundation for all that you do with any donor.

Unique – Remember that we are all individuals with different experiences that shape our opinions, passions, and interests. Choosing questions that allow a donor to open their heart to you will make the entire process enjoyable for both you and the donor. There are always the standard questions: What was your most pivotal Jewish experience? Who has made the most impact on your life? And then there are some difficult conversations: Have you ever experienced a tragedy? What are your thoughts on Israel? Do you and your spouse have conflicting opinions? These are all important questions to help you see how a donor articulates their experiences.

Investigate – Learn as much as you can before you meet with a donor. Knowing the information helps you form the best and appropriate questions. It is important to know several key elements about a person before you meet with them: personal information, company information, other philanthropic interests, political contributions and social connections.

Listen – When you listen carefully, you are able to weave all the information together and continue to ask additional questions. Over time, as you hear the donor share their thoughts and passions, watch their families grow, share their ups and downs, you will become part of their living quilt. As you give them positive philanthropic experiences and help foster their own philanthropic goals, you become their partner. They will look to you for guidance about your organization as well as others. As you move to other organizations, they may or may not support your new organization. This is another vital piece of information.

Timing – With all of this information you gather and the relationship you are building with your donors, you must know the best time to make the ask. Is it good timing for them financially, are others involved in their decision-making, will you need their leadership as well, or will this significant gift be tied to an event or campaign? Regardless of the size of the ask, you need to feel confident and understand as much as you can about the donor. The best way to know if the timing is right is to let the donor know that you are coming to speak to them about a gift to the organization. Be truthful, don’t ever surprise a donor with a solicitation.

Smile – Be confident. Enjoy the work. As a fundraiser, you are doing special work that many people are uncomfortable doing. You are asking people to give money to help those in need; don’t ever be ashamed of this. You are the voice for those who cannot speak for themselves. Be proud and speak from your heart. As you do, you will enhance the lives of so many and these donors’ “quilts” of information will help you to do what is best for both the donors’ and the community.

Living In The Waves

Emotions are like the waves of the ocean, some high tide and some low tide, some I let run over me and from some I run away. Happiness is easy, I want it to shower me and I want to stay in the water as long as I can. Even the memory of a joyful moment in my life can bring back a smile like a wave comes back to the sand. You know that time you were driving in your car, thinking about all the things you have to do in a day and your favorite song from your school days comes on the radio - first recognition, then memory, and BAM, a stream of memories come flooding back, the friends you had, the smells of the restaurants and soon you are smiling and singing!

How about anger?! This is a tricky one because I find that sometimes when the big wave of anger goes away, little drops remain like when I get out of the water and I dry off with the big soft towel, but my hair is still wet. I can help dry my hair faster or let it dry on its own, it is my decision. Anger feels the same to me. Even after a discussion and apologies have been made, there is always that lingering feeling that stays until it goes away. And most of the time, I am patient, once I say or hear, "I am sorry," the wave of anger begins to leave and there is room for good feelings.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about sadness. A therapist once told me that it takes more energy to push an emotion away then to simply feel it. That statement made to me seven years ago still profoundly effects on me and I have repeated many times over. It was most useful when my dad died. In the past seven months, I have tried to move through the waves of sadness with them rather than against them. Of course, this means I have to be sad. What I have found is that after a very intense trauma or grieving process, my life seems lighter, brighter, and it has greater clarity. And even though, like the song that brings happiness and the words that might bring anger, sadness can also be triggered by a song, words from a friend, or a commercial on television. So I might cry more and I might feel things more intensely, but it is all worth it because the most important thing is that I do feel it. Happy, Anger, Sadness - these and more are all part of life and I say, bring it on and in the end, my life will be more truthful and much sweeter.

2010 Resolutions

I have not written New Year's resolutions in a long time and decided this year to put something in writing. After all, I have a blog now, I want to use it.

1. Rebuild my boundaries - In the past two years, some of my boundaries have blurred and I will work on reinforcing those boundaries.

2. Spend time with nice people - I know some really nice people, have rekindled some old friendships and have met some new friends. This sounds easy, but sometimes we (and I mean I) get manipulated, distracted, and directed by others and then I find myself not doing what I want or being with whom I want (see #1). I want to make time for people who are nice to me; I will give them some priority in my life. In the recent past, my measurement of quality people was "Are you in the camp that makes my life easier or in the camp that makes my life harder?" That has really worked for me; However in 2010, I will just edit the question to the following, "Are you nice to me or not nice to me?

3. Outdoor living - This is a biggie in terms of editing my lifestyle, but I am going to give it a try. Simply put, I want to spend more time outdoors. In my single days, I was outside so much more, running, walking, hiking or rollerblading. Just the memories of enjoying the fresh air is enough to add this to the list and that great feeling after a hike in the mountains or a walk on the city streets, I want that back. I think this is non-negotiable and my family will just have to come with me.

4. Obviously, more writing!

5. Find a new gift giving practice for our family - Seriously, I am traumatized by this past Hanukkah experience and need to find a different way to celebrate than just presents.

6. Do more and do less - Here is the thing about resolutions and wanting to do more in one's life: I have to be willing to do less of some things. I already find myself short on time, so adding things to do will only make me crazy and then next year, I will write about accomplishing nothing. So, what can I do less - I can watch less television; You are thinking this is so obvious, but I love television and if I have one minute, I will turn it on. Next, I can sit at the computer less. Believe it or not, I drafted this blog with pen and paper before I typed it (gasp, what is a pen and paper?). I am still an old-fashioned girl that way. Finally, I can live at a whim less. During the week, my life is planned by work, my meetings, lunch dates, conference calls - all planned. On the weekends, I wake up and decide what to do; This year, I want to make plans on the weekends with nice people and spend the time outdoors (see how I just did that, I combined #3 with #6!). If I plan, it is more likely to happen.

Happy New Year everyone and by way, I am not waiting until Jan. 1st; I am starting now! And my New Year's wish for you - may you do what you want, the way you want, without hurting yourself or others!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is Dec 6 and my dad would have been 82 today. Instead he has been gone since Nov 1 and my mom and I went to visit him at the cemetary today. This was the first time that we did this and for the week leading up to it I thought about it everyday with great anxiety and sadness. Once we arrived and wished my dad a happy birthday, I found myself quite at peace with just being there. He is in a beautiful spot and I found a tremendous comfort in knowing that I can come anytime I want to talk to him.

What I thought about most today was my dad's capacity for life and love. He was always on the move, looking for the next thing to do. He wanted to know what everyone else was doing, how they were doing and why there were doing it. My dad loved to talk to my brother and I and even our friends about their professions. My dad retired way too early and his interest in what we did during our work day was relentless. He was so proud of my brother and me and it will be something I hold onto for a long time.

My dad was always a powerful, big, energetic and lovable man. It is a huge void that he is gone and today, I miss him very much. Happy Birthday, Dad!

My trip to Israel

It is hard to believe that I was in Israel less than a month ago. The link is the blog that I wrote for The Jewish Federation's website, posted today.

http://www.jewishla.com/2009/12/beauty-and-strength-in-israel/

I'm thrilled to have my own blog and will be writing about all different things. I'm grateful to Jordan for setting me up.

Here we go...