There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability. From Chapter 1, Bill's story. Alcoholics Anonymous: the "Big Book" (The key text of Alcoholics Anonymous) (Kindle Locations 359-364). ignacio hills press (TM) IgnacioHillsPress.com and e-Pulp Adventures (TM). Kindle Edition.
After my dad died, I read the Big Book. As Dani Shapiro described in her book, "Devotion," I felt pushed to it. I was drawn to the stories of those who had experienced such despair and worked their way back to live a happy, joyful, and productive life.
As I read every page, I was momentarily removed from my sadness and walked through the pain of another. By doing this, it helped me get through my own painful months.
That was almost 3 years ago. Today, I still refer to the principles of the Big Book. With meditation and prayer, I try to minimize my resentments, frustrations and insecurities. I am not a addict, nor do I consider myself "normal." Like everyone, I have anxiety and stress that cause me to be short-tempered, irritable and sad. The Big Book, along with other spiritual guides, remind me to be in service to others, forgive myself, love myself and be grateful for all the gifts in my life which are many.
As we move into Passover, it is these modern day enslavements that I will look to free myself. For each day of Passover, I will select one emotional enslavement to write about in hope that by acknowledging it publicly, I will be free.
Shabbat Shalom and may you find peace and comfort from your community or even a good book.
Showing posts with label Dani Shapiro. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dani Shapiro. Show all posts
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Problems + Solutions = Life
My mind is completely scrambled right now... ever feel that way? I have issues weighing on my mind that I am unable to resolve for a variety of reasons - mainly because they involve others to help settle the situations.
While I try to be strong and confident in my decision making, today was one of those days that at every turn a decision could not be made. I consider myself a problem solver and not just the kind that solves your problems, I really like to solve my problems - big or small. I don't like to hang onto problems for too long because I can feel them taking a toll on my body.
Today I have a list of things that I am worried about, sad about, confused about, mad about and wondering how am I going to do it all. I'm sure that after writing this post and getting a good night sleep, I will feel better tomorrow. Oh and I will solve some of the minor issues so that I can feel a sense of accomplishment (which is very important to me - see an earlier post).
Even now, as I write this post on my new laptop that I bought for my birthday and I am planning to organize my life in a new way. That is a goal of mine for the next 10 years - to get organized in a way that includes a regular routine, a clean home, to give away all in my home that we do not even touch and continue meditation, write, be with my friends and still go on dates with my husband.
One of the books on my nightstand is "The Happiness Project," by Gretchen Rubin. Honestly, I bought the book on title alone. And then, as I read more and more, Gretchen Rubin's life became a study for me of how I can enhance my own life. She is an excellent writer and her methods for bringing happiness in my life are simple. Simple is good. One task at a time and hold yourself accountable - this I can do.
Another book I just read that made an impact is "Devotion," by Dani Shapiro. Dani writes how she had this feeling of being pushed in a certain direction and that is exactly how I feel. I used to worry where I was going and I would panic if I didn't have the map. Devotion made me realize that I am not alone in this world. Which is why as I finish this post, I can breathe now because all these things that are thrown at me by the people around me, the universe or G-d, I can handle even if I have to shed a few tears.
Wishing everyone a better tomorrow,
Lori
While I try to be strong and confident in my decision making, today was one of those days that at every turn a decision could not be made. I consider myself a problem solver and not just the kind that solves your problems, I really like to solve my problems - big or small. I don't like to hang onto problems for too long because I can feel them taking a toll on my body.
Today I have a list of things that I am worried about, sad about, confused about, mad about and wondering how am I going to do it all. I'm sure that after writing this post and getting a good night sleep, I will feel better tomorrow. Oh and I will solve some of the minor issues so that I can feel a sense of accomplishment (which is very important to me - see an earlier post).
Even now, as I write this post on my new laptop that I bought for my birthday and I am planning to organize my life in a new way. That is a goal of mine for the next 10 years - to get organized in a way that includes a regular routine, a clean home, to give away all in my home that we do not even touch and continue meditation, write, be with my friends and still go on dates with my husband.
One of the books on my nightstand is "The Happiness Project," by Gretchen Rubin. Honestly, I bought the book on title alone. And then, as I read more and more, Gretchen Rubin's life became a study for me of how I can enhance my own life. She is an excellent writer and her methods for bringing happiness in my life are simple. Simple is good. One task at a time and hold yourself accountable - this I can do.
Another book I just read that made an impact is "Devotion," by Dani Shapiro. Dani writes how she had this feeling of being pushed in a certain direction and that is exactly how I feel. I used to worry where I was going and I would panic if I didn't have the map. Devotion made me realize that I am not alone in this world. Which is why as I finish this post, I can breathe now because all these things that are thrown at me by the people around me, the universe or G-d, I can handle even if I have to shed a few tears.
Wishing everyone a better tomorrow,
Lori
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