The Best Telelvision I Have Seen Recently

I love television. I wish I didn’t because I keep finding books I should read. But after a long day of work, and then having dinner and putting our kids to bed, I just love sitting in my cozy chair watching the TV. Below are some of the best that I have seen recently… #1 – Miss Representation This is one of the best documentaries that I have ever seen and thank you to Jennifer Seibel Newsom for making such an enlightening film. This made me stand up and take notice. The film discusses how poorly women are portrayed in the media and how numb we have become to the characterization of women in all aspects of film, television and music. I found it so disturbing that I made a conscious decision to change my television viewing habits. I felt so guilty for watching shows like “The Bachelor,” “America’s Next Top Model,” and “Project Runway.” These shows only perpetuate the insecurities of women. And these are not the only offenders. Female news anchors who are dressed inappropriately and don’t take themselves seriously. The absolute worst offenders advertisers and how they use of sex in commercials. Commercials portraying sexy women in little clothing to sell fast food or a car are now more frustrating than ever. I think everyone needs to see this film. Go to www.missrepresentation.org to learn more. #2 – I AM Tom Shadyac’s documentary about his search for deeper meaning in his life is also one of the most inspiring films that I have seen. After a bike accident, Tom realized that his “stuff” was not making him happy. It didn’t make him sad, but his expectation was that acquiring all the material riches would increase his happiness, which it did not. He sold his big house, gave away a bunch of stuff and downsized his life. And so begins his spiritual journey. One of the most compelling moments of the film is Tom’s conversation with scientists about how the heart sends messages to the brain, not the other way around. I was so moved by Tom’s reaction to the possibility/probability that the heart is the core of our messaging system. I, too, thought it made so much sense. Go to www.iamthedoc.com and I promise you will be moved. #3 – Suze Orman’s Money Class Honestly, I was not a big fan of Suze Orman, but the idea of the series grabbed my attention. I have recorded it and now I have watched two episodes and I am hooked. It is embarrassing how irresponsible, lazy, and/or ignorant we, as a society, are about money. I was amazed at how Suze simplified every money problem thrown her way and even more shocked as to how much I related to the anxiety her audience feels about their money habits. #4 – Saturday Night Live And now for some comedy – I have been watching this show since I was 16, every episode. I love this show. Even though I record every episode, I usually stay up to watch. The ensemble cast on this season is one of the best ever. Both Seth Meyers and Kristin Wiig are just two of my favorites. While I understand that it is extraordinarily hard work to put on at 90 minute live show, the entire cast looks like they are having the best time. My husband likes to say that I am an easy laugher (making me a great audience member for a comedy club), but I have frequently heard him give a laugh or two out loud. If you haven’t seen it in a while, go to the NBC website to view some of Andy Samberg’s digital shorts, especially some of the videos with Justin Timberlake, you will not be disappointed. Happy Tuesday!

Lessons from my friends

February 6 - Three years ago, my friend moved to Israel with her children for one year. Her husband stayed in Los Angeles to manage his company. He visited as often as he could and skyped with them daily. I learned so many things from their experience and wanted them to know the rippling effect on me and our family.

#1 – The obvious lesson is that you should live your dream. When I heard that my friend was preparing to do this, it sounded right and by the look on her face, it felt right. Anything is possible. One can find 400 reasons not to do something, especially when it is big and involves others. It takes great courage and strength to change your life, your partner’s and your kids.

#2 – Partnership is critical to any marriage and parenting. We usually notice how our partnerships are tested when we are in despair. My friend’s experience really showed me that every day we make decisions for ourselves, our partner and our children. The number of decisions that this couple had to make together is overwhelming to me and I can only imagine the intensity of the conversations that took place. Their partnership in the year leading up and throughout their time apart has given me a new perspective. It has shown me that when one partner helps the other turn their dream into a reality, it doesn’t lessen their value, it strengthens the relationship.

#3 – What if your kids don’t want to live your dream? One of their children did not want to go and did not share the dream. To say that she was kicking and screaming all the way is not an understatement. Three years later this same girl, just began a semester abroad program in Israel – a choice she made on her own. The obvious lesson is that we know what is best for our children. The deeper lesson is that sometimes my children are going to be uncomfortable with a decision I make and that is okay. Allowing my children to experience discomfort rather than fixing it will ultimately give them a stronger core. This is probably the most significant lesson for me. It doesn’t take a big move for my children to be upset with a decision I make for them, it can simply be what I choose for dinner. Now I try to help them work through the discomfort. Teaching coping skills may be the best life lesson I can give them.

#4 – Sometimes people go away and do come back. Unlike death, sometimes people do leave our lives for a time and then circumstances in life bring them back. My friend’s daughter is in the same grade as my daughter and they have been friends since pre-school. Teaching your child that friendship (either by outside circumstances or by choice) may change, grow, end or just be on a break is nearly impossible unless it happens. When they left, my daughter was sad at first. Then she got back in the swing of school, time went by, and summer rolled around again and they returned. Our kids were fortunate to be able to pick up their friendship with very little change. My daughter now sees her friend’s experience as an adventure.

I am writing this post because my dream is simply to write more and to let people know that they have made an impact on me. I always say, “No one knows the impact they had on you unless you tell them.” This post is dedicated to my friends – thank you for enriching our lives.

Thanks for listening and stay tuned.

These words are mine

February 5 - I am struggling to write today. I should be inspired because I just watched Tom Shadyac's documentary "I AM" on Oprah's OWN Super Soul Sunday. I should be able to write pages about searching for the deeper meaning in my life, how his film that included timeless footage of extraordinary acts of human courage moved me to do something different, or how those he interviewed who are brilliant and thoughtful brought me to tears because it only reminded me of my want to connect.

Instead, I am weighing ever word I write.

Why? Because in a matter of 3 seconds, I fell right back into the pressure of "will they like what I write?" Or worse, "they won't like this or how I say that." In 3 seconds, I forgot that this was my journey and these blogs are for me.

How did this happen? After the movie, I went to the computer to begin writing my thoughts. But, right before I was going to click "new post," I saw this other word - Stats. I clicked on this to show me the amount of viewers to my blog. Big mistake - what number would make me feel okay? I have never done this before, so why should I care who is reading my blog. Like the scale, we put so much weight on the number. Our society has determined that phrases and words like "how much," "did you lose" "did you gain" "did you save" have more importance than "do you care" "do you love" "are you loved" and "what moves you."

This is my reminder that I am writing for me. If anyone reads this or not, this is already one of my favorite blogs. I just reread it and I love it.

Jewish Meditation - I'm in the right place at the right time

February 4 - I started my day with Meditation Plus which is a beautiful combination of Jewish Meditation and text study. There are about 12 of us (all but one were women) today. We are led by Rabbi Ruth Sohn, a thoughtful teacher who guides us to share our personal stories as they relate to the meditation and weekly text. I am new at this so I am both excited and anxious when I arrive in class because sitting still for 30 minutes sounds like a big deal and yet, somehow it is exactly what I what I need right now in my life. Following the meditation, we study a piece of this week's Torah portion. In the hour, I am touched by the honesty and sincerity of everyone's comments and their willingness to share in the group. In addition, I find myself deeply moved by studying ancient text which is applicable to our life right now. The search for deeper and thoughtful learning has begun. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, two amazing kids and family and friends who enrich my life. I want more. I want to learn more and give more. I am excited about this journey because I am not alone.

Thanks for listening and stay tuned.

Sadness - it's okay

February 3 - In thinking more about my post yesterday, I realized that one of the most annoying aspects of these self-help reality talk shows is that I'm sick of the hosts telling me to fix something, do more, be better, and be happy. Perhaps as a society, the reason for so many depression and anxiety medication commercials is because we are constantly being told that we should be happier and more grateful. By the way, I truly support medication for anxiety and depression, so do not take this in any way as a suggestion for you to stop your medication. And if you know anything about me, I'm pretty much not just a "see the cup half full" woman, I often see it bubbling over. These are pretty much my daily responses - "Life is good," "everything is great," "I'm happy," and at the very least, "I'm fine."

I suggest that we find ways to cope with sadness and teach our kids to be sad. In developing these coping skills, our kids will be healthier adults who can move in the world with less anxiety. I have learned that being sad is okay. Sad things happen, life is not fair, and sometimes people disappoint you. And it isn't until you walk through it and come out stronger that you realize how important it is to understand the sadness. Without exploring this, it is then that one becomes angry, depressed, anxious. When my father passed away a little over 2 years ago, I couldn't comprehend how huge the loss would be. The months following his death, I was numb, the word SAD seemed liked a joke. 3 little letters to describe how I was feeling, I don't think so. Confusion is more like it. And now 2 years later, with the Giants playing in the Superbowl on Sunday, I can smile knowing that my dad is somewhere with his old friends and will be enjoying the game. And there are other times when I will experience a moment of discomfort and sadness, like when my kids do something really cool and I think, "I wish my dad was here."

Thanks for listening and stay tuned. Shabbat Shalom,

Mixed Messages - Let's find some clarity!

February 2 - Over the past 25 years, I admit to being a mild Oprah fan. I watched many shows, not all, and mostly over the past few years. I do admire what Oprah has done for the empowerment of women and at the same time I realize that her show was also a daily reminder of what was wrong with me and how I need to improve. In order for her show to be truly successful, it fed on our insecurities. So, what if Oprah had said, "I think you are perfect just the way you are. You don't need my help." I believe there are many shows and other media that send us mixed messages.

Many things and people have inspired me over the past few months. One of the most significant documentaries I have seen is "Miss Representation" (which I saw on OWN), I was blown away by how men and women are so critical of women in a different way than they are of men. And as women, we let it happen. At first, I was outraged and thought, for my daugther and son, we will change our television watching habits and then I realized that for my own health and well being, I needed to stop watching shows that are condescending to women - it leaves me with few options. In my search throughout this year, I hope to find positive examples for my kids (and for me).

Thanks for listening and stay tuned.

Feb 1 - My birthday month begins

February 1 - In 17 days I will be 49. When I look in the mirror, I try to see if that is what I thought 49 would look like. Externally, I obviously look different than when I was younger, and internally, I am constantly reviewing a list of moments in time that now feel different. Am I so old that the feelings from the memories simply fade? I look back at my childhood and young adult life and try to remember what I felt at the party, why I let him speak to me that way, or how I thought I was wrong about her.

What I do feel is a new strength, power, desire to do something big. What that something is - I am not sure, but in the past few weeks, I have been meditating, studying torah text, and learning tennis again. The meditation and torah text go hand in hand and I am loving it. It feels good to observe Shabbat in this way. The tennis gives me a great reason to smack a ball and release some of the week's frustrations. I didn't realize when I started both at the same time, what a wonderful complement these two activities were to each other. Both are helping to give me greater clarity as I embark on this journey to 50!

Thanks for listening. Tune in tomorrow.