My Jewish Journey

There are a lot of studies and even more discussions about what is the most impactful Jewish experience that keeps one engaged in the Jewish community and nurtures one's desire to have a rich Jewish life (whatever that is).

So here is an quick rundown of my Jewish experiences - good, bad, or just is.

1. When I was 8, I told my mother that I hated Hebrew school and since girls were not required to have a bat mitzvah, my parents let me pass on this rite of passage.
2. I tried Jewish camp when I was 12, and it was not great.  I hurt my ankle after the first week and remained on the sidelines for the rest of the time.  I never went back.
3. My high school was predominantly Jewish and that became how I expressed my Judaism.
4. In college, I also hung out with mostly Jewish friends - whether they were good or bad for me was never in question.
5. Following college, I worked in the entertainment industry and realized that I was looking for something deeper.  I took a few classes of Torah study and Hebrew language.  Somewhere I panicked and didn't continue. 
6. I returned to synagogue regularly when Rabbi Joseph Telushkin became the Rabbi for Synagogue for the Performing Arts in Los Angeles.  I loved learning from him and was sad when he returned to New York.  
7. I decided to leave the entertainment industry and took a job at the Simon Wiesenthal Center.  For many reasons (Jewish and secular), this position fueled my passion for learning in a way that I had been looking for and had not previously experienced in any other professional capacity.
8. When I got married, the ceremony became the focal point for me and everything else I left up to others.   Following our wedding, my new husband and I participated in two Shabbatons at Brandeis for Newly Married Couples.  We loved it and it ignited a Jewish spark.  We were so moved by the 2nd experience, Perry and I renewed our vows impromptu following the Saturday planned programming.
9. I begin working at The Jewish Federation and for a while my Jewish profession is also my religious Jewish expression.  I can't separate them.
10. The birth of my daughter was a very powerful Jewish experience.   Perry and I had a strong urge to give her a baby naming that meant something special.  A variety of circumstances allowed it to take place on her 8th marking for me the non-gender ownership of the 8th day.  
11. The next important Jewish experience was my adult bat-mitzvah at 42 years old.  It was an incredible experience and like many momentous occasions, the event was a complete blur and I feel like I missed it.   The year-long study with Rabbi Mark Borovitz was what made the experience meaning and rewarding.
12. Next, Perry begins teaching at Pressman Academy and I become pregnant.  These two experiences deepened our connection to Pressman and Temple Beth Am and I began attending shul more often.
13. Work again becomes a greater time commitment and allows me to travel to Israel several times.  Each of these trips give me a new perspective on the land and on my own religious views.
14. Our family begins participating in the Temple Beth Am family Shabbaton several years on a row.  With each of these experiences, I return to Los Angeles with a new desire for learning the prayers and Torah text.
15. And then I found Meditation Plus with Rabbi Ruth Sohn at Temple Beth Am ( or it found me) and it has been the most impactful Jewish experience I have had in my adult life.  I attend every Shabbat and have for the past 18 months.  This experience alone has made a huge impact on my life. I believe this weekly experience excites and engages me a new way that sparks the desire for new challenges.  With Meditation Plus, I even grew to facilitate some discussions.  
16. I just became part of the Sisterhood at Temple Beth Am.  After only one meeting, I have found a place with great women who want to learn like me.  
17. I become the Co-President of the Jewish Communal Professionals of Southern California.  Accepting this position makes it clear to me that this is part of my Jewish path.  Working to advocate for all Jewish Communal Professionals is coming from my Jewish soul.
18. My daughter's bat-mitzvah is coming up and this experience is already making an impact on our family.  I am committed to making sure the bat-mitzah has meaning for my daughter, my family and Perry and me.  This is truly a family and friends project. 

Seeing it all written like this makes me realize that while I had felt a loss at not having some of these Jewish experiences as child, my adult life is rich with wonderful Jewish experiences.  And best of all, today I belong to a community that is nurturing, loving and all striving to be productive and healing members of our community.  I am truly blessed.

Shabbat Shalom...

Love, Respect, Create

Several times this week, I noticed how many differing opinions were voiced either publicly or in private conversations, but all were based on "us vs. them."  I felt it more this week as I watched the news and even in my own conversations with friends, colleagues and teachers.

Women vs Women and Women vs Men - With Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In," it stirred quite the conversation among my peers and of course, all over the news.  (Disclaimer: I have not read the book.)  Last year, my organization had Gloria Steinem come speak and it was clear that with 500 women in the room, all could not collectively share gratitude for what Gloria had done for women.  Some women were quick to criticize her for her speech, her politics, and even her clothes.  And now, the same happens to Sheryl Sandberg.  And there are the rest of us, the "regular, non-famous, working every day" women who have been discussing this for years.  My colleagues and I manage to lean on each other so that when we are around the table, our best self promotes those equally who work hard and with a generous spirit.  And we are not always perfect.  The frustrations of the workplace can hinder creativity and productivity.  However, in my experience creativity is sparked by men and women.   I have been led by great men and women and have always worked along jealous men and women as well.  Both genders exhibit strong qualities and also have weaknesses.  Working together, we can enhance everyone's strengths and not let the weaknesses deter us.  After reading Carol Dweck's book Mindset, top leaders can be either gender and what makes them a top leader is how they lead, nurture and inspire their employees to foster creativity, teamwork and productivity. 

Faithful vs Non-Believers - As I continue to deepen my spirituality and am no longer a non-believer, I clearly see there are two sides on this.  My routine for the past year has been to participate in my meditation class on Saturday and watch Super Soul Sunday on every weekend.  I have taken an interest in documentaries with these themes including the late Debbie Ford's The Shadow Effect, Jenny Phillips' The Dhamma Brothers and Beth Toni Kruvant's Heart of Stone.  I also read Daily Gratitude books by Rabbi Kerry Olitzky, blogs by Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Rabbi Shefa Gold, Rabbi Adam Kligfeld, and have learned with Rabbi Ruth Sohn, Rabbi Arielle Hanien, Rabbi Sara Zacharia and Rabbi Jill Zimmerman and many others.  Each of these teachers have their own powerful perspective which I greatly admire.  By doing this, I have learned to incorporate compassion, gratitude, kindness, and mindfulness into more of my daily life.  This journey has no end.  Everyone is on their own path and walking at their own pace.  Sometimes I am ahead and sometimes I am behind.  As Dr. Brene Brown said today on Super Soul Sunday, "Being authentic takes work every day."  Like Goldilocks, some pieces of my learning is too much, some not enough, but I have learned that while on this journey, if you are trying and learning, then you are just right.

While I encourage everyone to continue the conversation with kindness and compassion, I also encourage to take action with mindfulness and loving attention.  We need to continue to see positive change being made for women in every area and men and women are both responsible for making those changes.  I hope people bring more faith into their lives if they want it.  Regardless, I hope that people of faith and non-believers continue their own conversations so that we are all part of one community. 

This is my pray for this week - Love one another, respect each other's work and create more positive environments at home and at work.  Wishing you a beautiful week.

Listen First, then Speak

In my work, I hire speakers to share their wisdom on a variety of topics including peace, politics, leadership and spirituality.  With these speakers, I hope they will impart their great lessons and in doing so, our donors will be more engaged in our organization both emotionally and financially.

And outside of work, I am fortunate to often be in the audience for worldly speakers who have made a positive impact on my life.  Some of these speakers are rabbis, authors, politicians and teachers.  Some have even been chefs sharing their lessons of life through cooking.

While doing a wide search this week, I found so many speakers that I thought would be interesting.  Since hiring a speaker is both an art and big business, I began to think about how we listen to well-known speakers as well as to each other. 

When you need to hear a message, does it matter who is delivering it?  When I was younger, I was resistant to “hearing the message” from those who were trying to help.  And then, messages appear from unlikely sources and life is changed forever.

I celebrated my bat-mitzah when I was 42-years-old.  With help from Rabbi Mark Borovitz and Cantor Rebekah Mirsky, I was able to listen, learn, and apply those lessons to make my life better.  That moment transformed my life.  Becoming a bat-mitzvah gave me the gift of listening not only to others but to myself. 

That was almost 8 years ago. 

And learning to listen helped me be a more thoughtful speaker both personally and professionally.  Though I don’t garner big speaking fees, my partnerships at work and home are more honest and richer.  Thank you to Rabbi Mark and Cantor Rebekah for teaching me lessons that I still hold sacred today and will for a long time.

Shabbat Shalom.