Lessons on Meditation - The Gift of Being Together

Over two years ago, I began my journey of meditation when I bravely walked into new group I found through a friend.  The group was at my shul, right in the building that I had prayed, celebrated and mourned.  There it was and by the time I finished the meditation, I knew something was different.  In the past 2 years, I don't think I have missed more than a handful of Shabbat mornings.

Today, I did want to sleep in, but I know better.  It was another extraordinary experience.  Two new guides who both brought great learning and safety to the group.  Our group is typically led by Rabbi Ruth Sohn, but when she is away, we each volunteer to teach and lead the group in a meaningful discussion.

Today, there were tears, some for missing loved ones, some for celebrating new paths and some for the journeys and goals that had been accomplished.

As we discussed the Torah portion, B'midar, we all shared our personal experiences and in two random instances, we took a moment to celebrate of our participants who were celebrating a significant milestone.  Randomness feels like magic.  I didn't see it coming, but the impact of the two moments felt so rich with that tingle, it is what transforms our conference room into holy space.   And I am sure that I saw a twinkle in the eyes of our speakers.

In Chapter 2 of B'midbar, it states, "The LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying: The Israelits shall camp each with his standard, under the banners of their ancestral house; they shall camp around the Tent of Meeting at a distance."  Our guide shared this midrash, also explained in the Etz Chaim, "A person's identity consists of three elements: the self (the standard), the family (the ancestral banners), and the community (the Tent of Meeting).  Over the past two years, I don't ever remember reading this phrase with such clarity as I did today.  This is what we strive to achieve for ourselves, for our families and for our community.  And in the past few days, I have thought about how to deepen my commitment to myself, to my family and to the community.  My spiritual growth over the past few years has been transformative and continues.

Today is not a new year, nor a Jewish holiday, or even some commercial national holiday, and yet, it is Shabbat and I get to renew my commitments, continue to learn to create my standard (self) and work to build positive relationships with my family and be active in my community to give back and share our life events.

Yesterday, I read this from Restful Reflections, p. 113, Acquisitions, by Rabbi Kerry Olitzky
"With all your getting, get understanding." Proverbs 4:7

...Some things can be acquired only by learning through our experience with living.  And these things are not acquired overnight.  They take time, as we take hold of them little by little.
So the writers of the Book of Proverbs advise us to change our focus.  Stop buying things.  Instead, get understanding.  It's good advice to sleep on. 

Stuff is not the answer to my happiness and growth, it is through understanding that will allow me to know myself, connect with my family and my community.

Sweet dreams,

Let Go, Be Free

Letting Go - MARCH 20
My heart is not proud, Adonai, and my eyes are not haughty; on things beyond my scope no more I brood. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a child at its mother's breast; my soul is like a comforted child. PSALM 131:1-2

I have never imagined the psalmist as someone who is writing for the purpose of creating liturgical poetry. I know that the psalms, which were attributed to King David, were sung on the ancient Temple by the Levites. But I have always seen the psalmist as someone who is simply expressing emotion and writing for himself (or herself). This selection from the biblical book of Psalms offers us a lens through which we can navigate our daily life. In this poetry, the psalmist is suggesting what my wife, Sheryl, is fond of saying: "Control the controllable." In other words, recognize what is beyond your control, or "beyond your scope" in the language of the psalmist. Stop longing for things that are beyond you. Stop trying to fix things that you cannot. Just let them go. Spend your energy on those things that are within your orbit. Just let the rest go. That is what will bring you calm and tranquility. There is where you will find comfort and serenity.  (Kerry M. Olitzky. Life's Daily Blessings: Inspiring Reflections on Gratitude and Joy for Every Day, Based on Jewish Wisdom (pp. 72-73). Kindle Edition.)

Coincidence or not, this is exactly where I was today.  Feeling in the midst of chaos, I chose to only handle what I could. Years ago, I received great advice: "If you can't make a decision right now, then don't.  Either you will come to a decision or the universe will work it out for you."  I took that advice seriously ever since.  Letting go of the pressure to make the decision and having the freedom to allow the decision to come to you (either from within you or the universe) are true gifts.

And when I am in this chaos, I have learned to do something that is kind, compassionate and of service.  It allows me to get out of my own way and even see more clearly some of the solutions that could help lessen my chaotic life.  While impossible to always be in solution, I strive to speak and act with the conviction of finding a solution.  This effort may sometimes be difficult, but it is always authentic and often productive.

As I begin preparing emotionally for Passover, this week was what I will call the big cleanse.  It took a couple of weeks, but I feel that as I enter the holiday, I am free of silence when I needed a voice and free of fear when I needed courage.

Today ended up to be a great day  I am blessed to have family, friends and colleagues are true partners and guides on my journey.  May you walk in strength and partnership to achieve your goals... I did.

Love, Respect, Create

Several times this week, I noticed how many differing opinions were voiced either publicly or in private conversations, but all were based on "us vs. them."  I felt it more this week as I watched the news and even in my own conversations with friends, colleagues and teachers.

Women vs Women and Women vs Men - With Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In," it stirred quite the conversation among my peers and of course, all over the news.  (Disclaimer: I have not read the book.)  Last year, my organization had Gloria Steinem come speak and it was clear that with 500 women in the room, all could not collectively share gratitude for what Gloria had done for women.  Some women were quick to criticize her for her speech, her politics, and even her clothes.  And now, the same happens to Sheryl Sandberg.  And there are the rest of us, the "regular, non-famous, working every day" women who have been discussing this for years.  My colleagues and I manage to lean on each other so that when we are around the table, our best self promotes those equally who work hard and with a generous spirit.  And we are not always perfect.  The frustrations of the workplace can hinder creativity and productivity.  However, in my experience creativity is sparked by men and women.   I have been led by great men and women and have always worked along jealous men and women as well.  Both genders exhibit strong qualities and also have weaknesses.  Working together, we can enhance everyone's strengths and not let the weaknesses deter us.  After reading Carol Dweck's book Mindset, top leaders can be either gender and what makes them a top leader is how they lead, nurture and inspire their employees to foster creativity, teamwork and productivity. 

Faithful vs Non-Believers - As I continue to deepen my spirituality and am no longer a non-believer, I clearly see there are two sides on this.  My routine for the past year has been to participate in my meditation class on Saturday and watch Super Soul Sunday on every weekend.  I have taken an interest in documentaries with these themes including the late Debbie Ford's The Shadow Effect, Jenny Phillips' The Dhamma Brothers and Beth Toni Kruvant's Heart of Stone.  I also read Daily Gratitude books by Rabbi Kerry Olitzky, blogs by Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Rabbi Shefa Gold, Rabbi Adam Kligfeld, and have learned with Rabbi Ruth Sohn, Rabbi Arielle Hanien, Rabbi Sara Zacharia and Rabbi Jill Zimmerman and many others.  Each of these teachers have their own powerful perspective which I greatly admire.  By doing this, I have learned to incorporate compassion, gratitude, kindness, and mindfulness into more of my daily life.  This journey has no end.  Everyone is on their own path and walking at their own pace.  Sometimes I am ahead and sometimes I am behind.  As Dr. Brene Brown said today on Super Soul Sunday, "Being authentic takes work every day."  Like Goldilocks, some pieces of my learning is too much, some not enough, but I have learned that while on this journey, if you are trying and learning, then you are just right.

While I encourage everyone to continue the conversation with kindness and compassion, I also encourage to take action with mindfulness and loving attention.  We need to continue to see positive change being made for women in every area and men and women are both responsible for making those changes.  I hope people bring more faith into their lives if they want it.  Regardless, I hope that people of faith and non-believers continue their own conversations so that we are all part of one community. 

This is my pray for this week - Love one another, respect each other's work and create more positive environments at home and at work.  Wishing you a beautiful week.

Resolution - Worth the Wait

As the week ends, the heaviness of my heart and the non-stop anxious voice in my head seem to be subsiding.  I am smiling.  I am breathing better.  I am healing by reacting with confidence and strength. I behaved so that I could be kind and do the right thing.  With my family, my friends and my colleagues, I searched for truth and those who stood by me helped me every step of the way.

In Kerry M. Olitzky's Life's Daily Blessings: Inspiring Reflections on Gratitude and Joy for Every Day, Based on Jewish Wisdom (p. 47). Kindle Edition, I read the passage for February, 18th, my birthday.  It seemed fitting.  This week, I worked on mending my world.  I solved problems, I reconnected with family and friends and I spoke truth with kindness and love.  I let go of anger, confusion and anxiety. Situations that caused me anxiety, I can now look forward to with excitement.

Mending the World 

FEBRUARY 18 

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, 

for giving us the opportunity to mend the world. RABBI RON KLOTZ 

While this is not a traditional blessing-that is, not one of the list of blessings penned by the Rabbis to be among the one hundred that are to be said each day-it certainly contains what might be called traditional sentiments. We are each obligated to help repair the brokenness in the world, and in others. Of course, we may be simply motivated to do so because it is the right thing to do. But we also want to recognize that when we do so, we are contributing to God's work in the world. In repairing what is broken and working to bring perfection back to the world by healing it and those who inhabit it, we are acting as channels through which God's presence flows into the world. The blessing that Rabbi Klotz wrote acknowledges the sacredness of such an act. It is a privilege to join with God in order to fix what is broken in the world. But the world is not alone in its need of repair. When we contribute to fixing the world, we often end up healing what may be broken in ourselves.


What I noticed in all this is that when I responded with truth, I was genuine and vulnerable.  What I got in return was love, truth, comfort, and even some surprises from those who haven't shown up before.  Earlier in the I didn't see the resolution.  Now, it is crystal clear and it was worth the wait.

I am entering Shabbat with great joy and looking forward to my meditation class with my friends.

Shabbat Shalom.

Speak Up and Say Something Nice

In the past few days, I have noticed how often people choose to criticize rather than promote.  Among family, friends and professionals, optimism takes a backseat to cynicism.  As an optimist, solution finder, and high energy laugh out loud spirit, I am saddened when I feel alone as I raise up against those  who want to disagree all the time.

At a recent lunch, I asked someone to advocate in an upcoming meeting.  He didn't think it was necessary because it goes without saying how much he supports this issue.  It was at that moment that I realized that those who stay silent think we all know what they are thinking.

Please, SPEAK UP!

We don't know what your are thinking.  For years, I have encouraged people to thank, express gratitude and offer positive feedback so that people know how they have impacted you.  There is no greater gift to another than sharing with them how much a moment with them touched your life.

Rabbi Kerry Olitzky's books have helped me during some of the darker times in my life.  Here is today's excerpt.


March 13 - The Wisdom of Silence: Silence is a fence for wisdom. PIRKEI AVOT 3:13
We usually think about fences as protective devices. They protect what is inside them from whatever or whoever is outside. But fences work in two ways. They prevent what is inside from getting outside. In some cases, one fence is not enough. In prisons, for example, one fence prevents prisoners from reaching the second fence. The Rabbis of Pirkei Avot are constructing yet another kind of fence-a fence of silence. This fence may prevent wisdom from escaping. It is also suggesting that too many words can have a deleterious effect on wisdom. If wisdom is gained through reflecting on our experiences, then we have to be quiet enough to listen to what the experience is teaching us.


If wisdom is gained through reflecting on our experiences, then we have to be quiet enough to listen to what the experience is teaching us. Then after we realize what we have learned, we can offer a blessing of thanks to our teacher, whoever that may be, and to God for giving us the ability to discern it.

Kerry M. Olitzky. Life's Daily Blessings: Inspiring Reflections on Gratitude and Joy for Every Day, Based on Jewish Wisdom (Kindle Location 653). Kindle Edition.



As I have struggled these past few days with having so much on my plate and worrying about how I will get it all done, my family, friends and colleagues have shown extraordinary kindness and have reached out to comfort me.  I recognize that as true love and friendship.  And while I sit and deal with my every day anxieties, I know that there are so many who are in far greater pain than I and that I never forget.

Thank you for reading my blog, sharing your thoughts with me and showing me kindness when I need it most.  As with the last post, I feel better already.

Sweet dreams...