Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Lessons in August and Welcome back September

 "August" - I needed to know what it meant.  It has been a very emotional month for me as I searched within myself for the answers to some questions.  These are the words that appeared when I searched Webster's Thesaurus.

distinguished, respected, eminent, venerable, hallowed, illustrious, prestigious, 
renowned, celebrated, honored, acclaimed, esteemed, exalted; great, important, 
lofty, noble; imposing, impressive, awe-inspiring, stately, grand, dignified

I was a bit surprised since these are not the words that I have been experiencing in the month.  If asked, I would have chosen words like vulnerable, raw, rustic, helpless, and soft.  August was always the month of dread - we didn't want summer to end, we didn't want school to begin.  August was also the sweet spot of the summer, forcing you to see the end of the fun and step into the next phase of your life.

And it did not fail me.  I did a lot of soul searching this month, deciding what is best for my family, looking to make decisions that are right for so many people (not an easy challenge).  I was at my most vulnerable, thinking and rethinking and overthinking all that could happen to my family if I did, if I didn't, if we did, if we didn't.

And then I asked for help.  Thanks to the guidance of good souls around me - I received the following advice  ( and I am paraphrasing as I heard it):

  • Don't worry so much about making the right decision, spend your time on how you will make the decision right.   (This spoke to me because I often think of decision as opportunities and not always as right or wrong.)
  • What does your mind, your heart, and/or your gut say?  Are all three voices aligned?
The final exercise that someone gave me was the following:  Pretend you are you a year from now, what letter would you write to your "today" self?  Here is what I wrote:

                           Dear Lori,
I am so happy that you made this decision - Good for you!! 
I know it wasn't easy, but I am so proud of you---

That letter I wrote to myself is now framed and will be sitting on my desk for quite awhile.  

So August turned out to be impressive, lofty, noble, grand and in my spiritual search, it has been quite awe-inspiring.  So thank you August for an intense, forceful, spirited and thought-provoking month.  I did more than survive it, I embraced it and held it close.  

Now in search of September and its meaning.  Happy September, may it be all you want in a month.

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