Before meditation began, I had a heavy heart. I was burdened by ill health and wanted to feel better. I was preoccupied with how I should celebrate my birthday, if I even wanted to celebrate and what “not celebrating” would mean. Friends have great ideas of how they would celebrate and offer suggestions for me, but nothing feels right. Also, by not making a decision, I felt as though I was letting others down.
With a couple days of sick time earlier in the week, antibiotics and a Shabbat that brought a rejuvenating meditation, I became myself again this weekend. I have no fear of 50, am feeling healthy and am fully aware of being surrounded by love. I made some decisions which feel good, my daughter and I worked on her science project, we took a walk and then my family all had dinner together.
And now late Sunday night, I am at peace, full of love for my family and full of hope for all the 50 will bring.