Saturday, June 22, 2013

I Know The Right Amount

As I sit in synagogue this morning trying manage the continuous script in my head, "If only I knew Hebrew, this experience would be better."  I know enough to follow along, but not enough to speak or read to understand.  Sometimes, this chatter in my head makes me sad because I love being in synagogue and often sing and chant by memory.  

Today, my daughter sat down next to me and saw the sadness on my face.  When she asked what was wrong, I was honest.  "I don't know enough," I said.  My 12-year-old daughter immediately responds, "You know the right amount."  Her words are so kind, I ask her to repeat them.  As she repeated the words, "You know the right amount" a smile crosses my face and I can feel myself physically relax.  

So, in my ongoing search to find solutions, I need help to identify my problem.  What is it that I want to accomplish:

To learn to speak Hebrew or
To deepen my ability to prayer without knowing Hebrew or
To deepen my ability to prayer with knowing Hebrew or
To deepen my study and practice of meditation or
To learn more Torah text or

I am on a journey.  I know that learning is the key to this journey.  I am not sure what my next steps will be or how or when these problems will become great opportunities.

Today I will simply appreciate my daughter's words and be grateful that I know the right amount. 

1 comment:

  1. How wise and beautiful! And you certainly "know the right amount" to have raised such a compassionate child Lori. What a perfect phrase: I know the right amount. And as Sylvia Boorstein would probably say - how could it be otherwise? She tells the story of an elderly friend who always answers the question "How are you?" with "I couldn't be better." To which Sylvia adds, "and that's true! You can't be better in the moment than you already are!" (hope I did justice to Sylvia's teaching)