Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Want for Something Better

Today, my friends and I shared a wonderful meditation with Dina Bernat-Kunin who guided us to help us heal, move energy within our bodies, ease the burdens of every day life, and find a way to be unstuck.  My own experience this morning was powerful and as I focused on paying attention to my heavy heart, I physically felt a shift in my heart.

Once my friends left, I thought about how I got to this place in my life where meditation is nurturing, safe, and healing.  I could not have done this in my thirties.  I was trying too hard to become successful professionally, get married and maintain friendships that I held close.  Looking back, I realize that I wanted thoughtful space but did not call it meditation.  I went for long walks and sometimes even found peace in running.  Driving distances over 20-30 minutes also gave me time to think about my life, listen to music or talk radio, or simply get lost in the beauty of the landscape.

The moments that made me step into that better place was dressed as need, but I think now that it was a deep want.  My most successful transformations have come when I wanted it most.  I would say loudly,  "I need to change..." But the growth of my professional career, my personal life and my continuous pull to learn was and is driven by my realization that I want more.

My needs are basic - food, water, air, and love.   My wants are peace, joy, commitment, purpose, continuous education, laughter, comfort and someone to hold my hand.  I want to help my husband and my kids to live in truth and make decisions that are best for them.  I want partners in the community, teachers who inspire, and friends who share their lives.  And I want to walk on this journey and feel that I am always in the right place at the time.

And looking at my life right today, I can say, "So far, so good!"

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