Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Making the Day Count - Inspired By My Daughter

This is the first in a series about how my daughter and our family are experiencing this special occasion. 

As I prepare for my daughter's bat mitzvah, I am trying to stay focused on the beauty and the meaning of the day.  So far, so good.  Some days it is too hard to remove the financial anxiety all together, so I try to focus on what this day will mean for my daughter, my husband and me and all of our guests.

How do you mark a day so that you, your child, your family and friends will find it memorable?  Like most kids, our daughter wants to have fun with her friends.  My husband and I want our friends to have fun.  So we knock out the easy stuff first - she can have a dance party and we can begin the evening party with havdalah and maybe later even get to play some music we like.

Next, we share ideas about how this day is not the end of so much studying and learning, but instead the beginning of a deeper and more meaningful way of life.  I was clear from the beginning that I didn't just want my daughter to be preparing for this day all alone, I wanted us all as a family to be learning and preparing as well.  This is an incredible opportunity for all of us to show her how to integrate our Jewish values into her daily life and for my husband and I to reaffirm and continue our exploration of a deeper spirituality.

We still have so much to do and I worry that I will get lost in the financial anxiety.  As checks get written, I will need to remind myself to stay balanced in logistics and spirituality.

I promise to stay in learning and to stay focused on the big picture.  I have meditated with visual images of a beautiful and meaningful day for my daughter, our family and friends.  I still have work to make that happen, but my husband and I are inspired by our daughter's creativity and commitment to marking this special day.

Stay tuned for more bat mitzvah updates...


  1. Beautifully stated, Lori. I have a suggestion.
    Have your daughter choose a mitzvah project or commit to a year of social action. Depending on what she chooses, you could get the whole family involved. This will remind your beautiful girl that her bat mitzvah (and life) is not about what she gets but about what she gives.

  2. Thank you Sandra. Great suggestion and it is on the list.